Adulting
by ReeReeWithAngst
Summary: Soos reflects on past, present, and future as he and Melody prepare for their first child, and Soos stresses over becoming a postcard parent like his father before, finding resolution and comfort by the end of the night.


**PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO SOOS' MOM SO THE BACKSTORY PROVIDED BELOW IS PURE SPECULATION.**

At the end of the day the suit came off and the persona was shed, though the unbridled enthusiasm remained. At the end of the day, Soos Ramirez was just Soos Ramirez, sitting in his underwear and feeding his wife snacks as they played videogames.

"I predict that I will win this round." Melody said, resting the bowl of popcorn on her protruding baby bump.

"And the next round, and the next round, and the round after that." She continued. making him laugh.

"You always say that. Any other predictions?" He had teased her, saying he would put her on display as the magical fortune telling pregnant woman, using her bump as a crystal ball. She had jokingly hit him and snorted her beautiful laugh.

"We're having a boy." She insisted for the hundred million billionth time, that day alone.

"Are not." Soos wanted to have a girl. He was afraid he would end up like his father if he had a son. He was stressed out about it and afraid to tell Melody.

Being an adult was hard. It was better to eat cheese balls in their underwear as they played the console version of fight fighters. But that only got to happen when the masks fell off, when the Man and Madame of Mystery stopped being so mysterious. Stopped Adulting.

Soos was trying, though. Wearing the mask for longer and longer. He wanted to... To be good enough for his future daughter or son.

"Okay, let's make a deal. Whoever is right about the gender gets to name the kid, and whoever is wrong will be on diaper duty." Melody wagered.

"Ewwwww." Soos whined with a laugh, but one did not simply say no to one's pregnant wife's ridiculous bets.

He liked being the Man of Mystery, less than he liked being the simple man he was next to Melody in their living room, but he still liked it a lot. But then there were taxes and bills, long hours he couldn't always spend next to his wife, and so many expectations. Being a man of mystery was like playing a part. But being an adult was like playing a part that was playing him. Draining him.

Melody beat him in Fight Fighters. She always did. They headed to bed, Soos wrapping one arm around her, cradling her close. Lying awake thinking. Like he always did.

Mostly he didn't want to fail Melody and the kid. He didn't want to become his father. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to become a father at all, he was so worried about messing it up. No matter what, he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to be that kind of person. It had taken him so long to even begin moving on from the pain his dad had caused him and he still wasn't fully recovered. No one deserved a postcard dad. Whatever mysteries his little one faced in the falls, where dad was wouldn't be one of them.

It still hurt, even now, not knowing who his dad was. Over the years, he had tried to fit himself into any other _less_ dysfunctional family, though he hadn't had that many friends. The one's he'd had grew wary lf Soos inviting himself over for sleepovers, to fill the void of a traditional family for until he was picked up in the morning. So he gave up on having siblings and a mom and set one singular goal. Find a dad. Most easily accessible was his employer, Stan Pines. And so he had done whatever it took to be the perfect employee and one day be seen as a sort of adopted son in Stan's eyes. It had never happened, and eventually Dipper and Mabel became his family. He had grown up enough to become responsible and protective of that family, was able to realize he was an adult, something his family seemingly was never able to do.

But at the same time... He almost understood why his father hadn't grown up, and why he had left. He cringed at understanding, yet he did. Melody snored softly beside him, and her warmth was enough to ground him, to keep him there. His dad hadn't had a wife to ground him, since Soos' mother had died when he was a baby. His father had left then. Had been semi-present for the first four years, and then totally disappeared.

Yet Soos knew, deep down, that it wasn't just because of his mother's death that his father had left. It was Adulting. Being an adult, wearing that awful mask... Perhaps love had been enough for the true man of mystery, his dad, to don that mask every day, but Soos had apparently not been worth it. It didn't hurt as much now, but it still did. Instead of continuing to act like an adult his dad had followed his immature dreams of abandoning responsibility and traveling the world.

And Soos had been left with a postcard.

That was unacceptable. It would not be the fate of his and Melody's child. Or was it Melody and his's? Nevermind, nevermind, _their_ child. Soos was able to drift off to sleep with that reassurance secure in his mind.

Securer still when he saw Roberto Jesús Ramirez for the first time. Or, as Melody affectionately called their son, Little Soos. He couldn't possibly imagine ever leaving this kid behind. He would do anything for him. Wear any mask. He didn't even mind changing countless diapers because of the casual bet he had made with Melody.

Roberto blinked up at his daddy, mumbling for the first time, though once he got started he would fill every second with awkward stories and outdated references to video games only his parents still played. He would grow up every bit as special and awesome as his mom and dad, because he would always have them to go to when things got hard. Since they were willing to pay bills and buy groceries and do all the things that made adulthood dull, for him.

Yes, Roberto would grow up to be weirdly spectacular, and spectacularly weird. But for now he was just Soos's little boy, and that was every reason in the world he should stay, and then some.


End file.
